What we welcome and what we release

A quick mental exercise before heading into 2024.

Over the last few years, I’ve introduced a new, simple exercise into my life. I take time to reflect and to write down the one word (or concept) that I want to welcome into the new year and one word that I want to release.

In 2023, I welcomed: abundance.

In 2023, I released: the idea of failure.

Reflecting on it now, the concept of abundance, for me, was more about letting go of the idea of scarcity. I was taught that to achieve, you have to work hard and fight for every opportunity— and a part of that is a foundational knowing that there may not be enough room for all of us.

As I’ve achieved more, I’ve learned that it’s simply untrue. There’s room for all of us as we grow. The approach of scarcity may have played a role in getting me to where I am today (it does take hard, consistent work to build a thing), but what got me where I am is not going to be what gets me where I need to go.

Enter: abundance! There’s enough room for all of us, and we all are enough. Believe that. I know the welcoming of this belief will be a life-long practice, but I’ve already seen shifts in my mindset since making this my word for the year.

You’re probably asking, why ‘the ‘idea of failure’ instead of just ‘failure.’ Oddly it’s more the idea of failing than the failing itself that absolutely haunts me. I’ve failed before. Many times. I’ve heard so many ‘nos’ on this journey of building Crown Affair, that my metaphorical skin is calloused. I’m down to fail because I know, without fail, I’ll stand back up. It takes a lot to take me out. Resilience and perseverance are the things I know I have in spades, but the idea of failing sometimes stops me in my tracks before trying. So this year has been a practice of teaching myself there’s really no failure— or success for that matter. There’s just, the journey. Just keep trying and taking shots, if you do, that’s a W.

In 2024, I want to welcome: prioritization.

In 2024, I want to release: comparison.

Effective prioritization is a new one for me. If it were physically possible, I’d be in two places at once and teleport so I could say yes and do it all. In addition to saying yes to probably too much, I’m just a gal out here with hundreds of tabs open in my browser bopping between genuinely important documents and some random article that I’ve been meaning to read for weeks. Your girl needs to get it together this year and say no more and focus on the things that have the biggest impact. Part of it is probably personal growth, and part of it is getting older, but I’m realizing how I spend my time matters more than it ever did before.

Okay, the big one: releasing comparison. I logically know it’s impossible to know the context of everyone’s journey. We’re all out here doing the best we can with the realities of our lives and the resources we have. Comparison is truly the thief of joy, and the greatest architects of said heist are these social platforms.

I’ll open Instagram and within 20 minutes feel like I’ve accomplished so little and have a mountain of a to-do list ahead of me, which is nuts because I’m proud of what I’ve built considering where I started. And the sad part is that I’m perpetuating that same feeling for someone else out there! We all are.

I’ll keep you posted as the year goes on with how these two words are going :)

If you’re interested in doing this exercise for yourself, here are a few suggestions on how you can approach it.

• Find a comfortable spot somewhere quiet with a pen and paper. Remove distractions. Take a few deep, grounding breaths and do a few minutes of meditation before diving in.

• ‘Word vomit’ every word, feeling, and thought of what you want to embrace and what you want to let go of for the year ahead. If helpful, think about what you may have retroactively welcomed and released this year (2023). Also if helpful, look back at any journal entries or inspiring books you read this year to get some inspiration.

• Once you have your words or phrases, as I did above, write out more on why you chose those to be your words. In the process, you may find it’s a different word you’re really looking for. For example, my original welcome word for the year was ‘efficiency,’ but as I explored it through writing it became clear that it wasn’t just efficiency in how I spend my time, but the actual choosing of how I spend my time that was more important to me this year.

There’s no real art to this. The art is taking time to take the things that are in your brain and put them on paper (or digital doc). Joan Didion famously said, “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.” So just start by writing it down. Like you, this will evolve, and that’s the beautiful thing about being human.

Take care, and take your time, always.

Dianna